me and my body

I've been extremely unhealthy for the most time of my life.
Time for a change, losing weight, healthy food and excersize.

grumbl…

such a great day to run.
the sun is shining and there is this comfortable spring breeze..
but I can’t, fucking crutches, fucked up foot grumbl!

Anonymous asked: i'm so sorry to hear that sweetheart! it's okay to not eat healthy or workout for once, I think it's pretty logic that you didn't manage that today =] be good to yourself, drink water or tea the rest of the day, go to bed early. tomorrow there's a other day honey, take care! =]

wow thank you so much! it actually made me smile thank you so much for the support I needed thay :)

rough, hard, fucked up.

so the last three days where well.. what the title says.
fucked.

my uncle was ill for a long time (he was an alcoholic so his bladder failed and he had cancer everywhere.)
ofcourse that caused a lot of tension in our house, my mom was there almost everyday for my aunt, cause she went crazy out there alone.
and well, she already had a lot off stress because of her work so that didn’t match quite well..

my uncle died this morning.
I was in the middle of class when my mom texted me that, i tried not to cry because I hate that so much.
so I ran away, a friend followed me and was extremely caring, just by being there and by not talking to much (I can’t stand that when I try not to cry)
but ofcourse everybody wanted to know what’s wrong with me, so they all started to ask.
and well then happend what I didn’t want to happen..
I burst into tears in front of the whole school, DAMN I HATE THAT!!

well my sister picked me up and brought me home (I walk with crutches so I couldn’t go all the way home by myself)
but yeah, I was locked out of the house, my dad didn’t bring his mobile phone with him so I went to my best friend, cried there, got back home and went to sleep.
after that I had to cook and do the groceries but I just couldn’t I felt like such a wreck so we had pizza and chocolate mousse..

so yeah.. that’s why I didn’t post that much, I’m sorry.
maybe I’ll post more tomorrow but right now.. I just don’t feel like it.
I want to motivate you all to go on and be healthy, but right at this moment I can’t even motivate myself and feel depressed so.
I’m really sorry.